Ironies of being a first-time Mom

Because the days are long but the years are so short. This phase can be the happiest, most wonderful and rewarding, yet the loneliest, most tiring and terrifying, ever.

1. You’re always tired, but your heart is full.

2. You have all these wonderful plans to do, cook, decorate, create, etc, but you just seem not to have the time and/or energy to do it (or even start).

3. You have always wanted a twinning-mom-and-baby photoshoot, pero ayaw niya (huhuh).

4. You’ve always advocated for Tamang Kain, No Screentime, All healthy/ organic/ hypo-allergenic/ fortified/ enriched with Vit. C yada yada, but there would be difficult days when you’ll let everything loose just because. (And the true irony is, that’s okay).

5. You dreamed of the day when you can finally wear your pre-pregnancy clothes again, but it really (heartbreakingly) doesn’t come.

6. Your child has done something considered not very good, but you are the one who feels guilty. (WELL, YOU ALWAYS FEEL GUILTY)

7. You remind yourself with positive, reassuring words on a daily basis just to keep you going, but the guilt is there to stay.

8. You have wanted to do it all for the baby, document everything, and be with the baby all the time, panicking that you may have missed important milestones (and developing more guilt in the process), but deep inside, you desperately seek for company and help.

9. You always remind yourself that your child is still adjusting to this whole new world, comforting her that everything is and will be all right, but it’s as scary as hell for you, as well.

10. You wish for free time, quiet time, and me time, but the best time for you is still when you are with your little fam.

And yes, I know, there are a lot more. Being a first-time Mom is a constant battle between selflessness and selfishness; of prioritizing your child’s needs above all else, but also wishing and taking a time out because you also have your own needs to be taken care of. Nemo dat quod non habet. You can’t give what you don’t have.

But the greatest irony, I think, is us trying so hard to follow others’ standards of what “good’ motherhood” is as we see on tv or social media, but we are- and have always been- the perfect Mom to our little ones.

So just keep on going. You’re the best, no matter what. 🌻