Coffee, crayons, and conversations

🌷

Thank you, VP Leni, for inspiring us and giving us hope. 🌸 Isang karangalang tumindig kasama mo.

Ipinagmamalaki kong sabihin na sana kami ni Ella ay maging katulad ng taong pinili ko- edukada, mas maraming gawa kesa salita, at nagsusumikap manatiling matapat, makatao, makabansa. Sa panahon ngayon na mas nakakarami ang pumili ng corruption at political dynasties, masaya at proud akong makukwento sa anak ko na hindi ko ibinigay sa mga tra-po ang kinabukasan niya.

You deserve to win, Leni Robredo. 🌷 But the Filipinos don’t deserve you. We are what we choose- our choices will always reflect who we are.

And we deserve what we tolerate.

God bless, Philippines! 🇵🇭

Self-love Languages for Millenial wifeys and mommies

Kamusta ang V-day, mga siszt? 😅

Kung kasama ka sa mga may-bahay na di nabigyan ng surprise, okay lang yan. Di ka naman nag-iisa, marami tayo. Hahah! Dibale nang walang flowers at chocolates, basta na-remit ang sahod at tapos na ang labahan. Charr 😅 Tsaka isipin mo na lang, binabalikan ata tayo sa mga pagkakataong nagsusungit tayo ng walang dahilan. 🤣 But seriously, kung meron mang konting lungkot o inis, remind yourself that your feelings are valid, but advise yourself as well that comparing your life with what you see in others’ feed will not make anything better.

One of the most important lessons I learned in 2021 is to deal with this kind of feelings. Sobra kasi akong naconsume ng bitterness over the things that I don’t have, or more specifically, the things my husband failed to give me. Masyado akong na-focus sa mga di niya nabibigay o sa mga bagay na “nagbago na”, kaya nalimutan ko yung mas maraming bagay na ginagawa niya para sa aming pamilya. And one of my most powerful realizations is that I feel bitter and sad because I rely on him too much for fulfilling my needs, but that should never be the case. Kung may tao man na unang dapat magprovide, lalo na ng mga emotional needs natin, yun ay yung sarili natin. We should be familiar not just with our own needs but as well as how to fulfill them, kasi kung hindi, magagalit lang talaga tayo sa mundo. We should also never expect anyone, even our “better half” to guess how we feel or what we want, especially if we don’t even properly communicate them.

I’ve realized this when I did some reflection: I was thinking kasi bakit yung asawa ko parang napaka-chill at unbothered tapos ako palaging inis o masungit. I was thinking na it’s beyond the issue of being patient and I was looking for something na magkaiba talaga kami ng perspective. And then it hit me- I saw that on his own, he is happy. He knows what he wants and he decides when is the right time to get it. He doesn’t wait for anyone to give him the things that he aspires for, and he is confident of my love for him. Unlike me na napaka-dependent and indecisive, unlike me na I didn’t even know what I want in the first place. I saw how toxic my mindset was, so I decided that I badly needed to change.

Slowly, I started to be more intentional in discovering my emotional needs and how will I be able to fulfill them on my own. I always remind myself to (first) identify what I want and then (second) take concrete actions to fulfill it on my own. Yeah, I felt so ashamed of myself kasi before I thought I was already a “strong and independent woman”, pero in terms of financial lang pala yun, nakalimutan ko yung emotional at mental aspects. Kaya sa mga may-bahay na nakakaramdam ng lungkot o inis dahil hindi nagssurprise sa kanila si mister, I feel you. I relate with you fully well, but I also would like to encourage you not to rely your emotional needs on other people. Try giving it to yourself first, and then let’s see how will it work wonders for you and your relationship.

And if you would like to ask paano nga ba uumpisahan, I would like to encourage you to start reading and learning about Self-Love Language. Simple lang yung mga concepts and baka nga narinig mo na ito before. Love language is simply the way we give love to others and the way we want to receive love from others. Kung paano mo pinapakita ang pagmamahal mo, gayundin naman, paano mo pinaka-nararamdaman na minamahal ka. Discover your Self-love Language, and then incorporate this into your daily routines as well as even during special occasions. Kumbaga, prioritize and practice self-love first.

7 Love lanuage ideas | love languages, 5 love languages, five love languages

And because we’re wifeys and mommies, here are more examples on how to discover and do your Self-love Language (you may choose which ones you really relate with or pwede rin naman na gawin mo lahat if trip mo, hahah.)

Physical Touch: put on some makeup and wear your favorite dress kahit nasa bahay lang, move and exercise, spend some few more minutes for yourself while taking a bath, completely and unhurriedly do your skin care routine
Acts of Service: cook your favorite food, declutter your own things and dispose those that don’t bring joy anymore, schedule a counseling session with a Psychologist or Counselor, make that family album you’re postponing for a long time
Receiving Gifts: you know the drill already- i checkout mo na yan! Buy yourself your own jewelry, etc, but make sure within your means pa rin
Quality Time: Go to a cafe alone and spend some unhurried time there, book that trip you’ve wanted since forever, practice meditation and mindfulness, sleep!
Words of Affirmation: Journal your thoughts, update your blog, make a Vision board, write yourself a love letter

Let’s celebrate love and care for ourselves, Mommies! 💋

Naniniwala akong kulay Rosas ang bukas

Welcome back

Hello WordPress! 👋

True to my always-MIA style, here I am remembering and posting on my blog at the onset of the year again. And just like before, I would like to say that “life happened” and “hopefully I’ll be more active”, but I know that’s not convincing anyone anymore, so yeah, just welcome back to me. 😅

So kamusta na ba tayong lahat? 2022 na 😂 It’s the third year of the pandemic, and though sometimes we feel that the Philippines is still a long way to go before we “go back” to “normal”, I want to acknowledge that at least we’ve already done a number of important things to make better the situation. Last year, I was finally able to go back to the office, got fully vaccinated alongside my family, learned an even bigger deal about online platforms and livestreaming, and got back on achieving dreams and making our detoured plans into actions. And with all that, I am deeply grateful.

I entered 2022 with a more hopeful and purposeful perspective. Well, I have a lot to prepare and look forward to this year- doing my thesis and taking the compre exam in Grad School, prepping for regularization (and hopefully salary raise) at work, paying for our own house and saving for its furnishing costs, and then enrolling my five-year old to Kindergarten. 😳 Yeah, I just felt a looooot older listing them all down here. And just like the years before, I lift all these into God and lay all my worries and fears into His hands. I know I can just do so much, but the rest is up to Him..

Now, January has just ended. Mag-31 na rin ako this February 😜😂 I honestly don’t feel like celebrating it. But whatever.. Bahala na. 😅

January biggest wins:

We already signed our Acceptance Form of our house. Already paid our Move in fee as well as the very first monthly amortization. Yipeeee!
Successfully attended and presented in our Thesis Colloquium. “Commendable” daw ang topic ko, huhuh, kilig!
Successfully prepared for a DIY virtual escape room for our PEER Team building. Grabe, thank you Canva talaga!
Got my booster shot.

January biggest challenges:

Tested positive with Covid 19, hahah. Pero I got no symptoms kaya tuloy tuloy lang ang trabaho. Mas nakakastress pa yung pang-aalaska ng mga kapamilya ko tsaka yung pagkuha ng mga certificates sa LGU. 😒
Laziness and feeling demotivated, kaya I feel that I wasn’t able to maximize my time last month. Sana this February wala na yung feeling demotivated.

January biggest lessons:

Rest and self-care are very very important, but these are not valid excuse for being lazy and irresponsible. 😒

Thirty things

I’ve just celebrated my 30th birthday this February. Would you mind reading some things about me? 😅

Things about me I usually share

1. I’m a Guidance Counselor and a Registered Psychometrician.

2. I’m shy and awkward, like a true introvert.

3. I’m a Catholic and I serve the Church.

Personality Type

1. INFJ

2. Enneagram Type 2

3. Choleric temperament

Events in my life that changed me

1. When I took up Psychology

2. When I gave birth to my daughter

3. When I got sick and was hospitalized for 2 months

What people don’t know about me (and would be surprised to discover)

1. I like cops movies/series

2. I think I have a talent in Basketball if I just only train

3. I’m a Board Exam Topnotcher (RPm, 2018) and I don’t tell people because I hate them to expect anything from me

Top three goals for 2021

1. To stay on my jobs and if possibly, earn more

2. To pass the comprehensive exam and begin writing my thesis

3. To secure a house and lot or aggressively prepare/save for it

Top three lessons in my life

1. Health is wealth

2. People won’t think like me, act like me, or feel the way I do; people won’t always like me either but all that’s perfectly fine.

3. We can trust God and His plans for us.

My shameful side

1. I am a habitual procrastinator

2. I don’t drink water or take care of my skin the way I should

3. I had no savings when I was still single- absolutely a financial illiterate

Crazy dreams

1. Be the DepEd secretary when Vico Sotto becomes the president of the Philippines

2. Build a retreat house or an orphanage

3. Become a Missionary and teach kids in the mountains.

Top three places I wish to visit

1. Sagada and Batanes

2. London

3. Spain

Top three self care activities

1. Journaling

2. Eating and drinking coffee

3. Sleeping

For what it’s worth, thank you 2020

Happy New Year! 🤣

It’s January 30 here in the PH 🇵🇭 and while I know that the holidays are already in a very, very distant past, allow me to still greet you. I haven’t been writing in the past 6 months because LIFE happened (read: work, sickness in the family, conflict in the family, unnecessary drama, my sister’s engagement, anime binge-watching, endless zoom meetings, and countless webinars). 2020 was indeed bittersweet, and perhaps like most of the people here, I feel glad that it already came to a close (reminded us all over again that all things eventually pass).

But I am aware that I no longer need to roast the previous year, for everybody has done that already. So for this very first post I will have for this year, I would like to share my gratefulness and thanksgiving to the plot twist in our history we wished we never had or wanted.

Thank you 2020 for the opportunity to slow down and realize what’s really essential in life. You locked us in our homes, drastically changing our plans and schedules making us feel lost because so much has been taken away. But this purging make us realize that we can indeed still live without the hustle and bustle of our busy lives. That life continues even if what we only have is the bare necessities.

Thank you 2020 for the chance to look within and truly appreciate what we currently have. You took a lot from us, but you also left us with something greater: a new and simpler perspective. We have realized that much of what we pursue in life are temporary, inessential, and inconsequential. We have learned that what we have can be lost in a blink of an eye. We hate you for doing that, but at the same time, we’ve been reminded of how fragile and fleeting our lives can be. And so we learned to cope, to appreciate, to be grateful, and to be contented.

Thank you 2020 for the chance to reconnect with our families. This is the greatest blessing, of course: to be able to wake up in the morning unhurried, and experience all the day’s firsts with the people we often take for granted before. We now recognize that we can turn our full attention into our own families, and make our homes into our own church, school, social club, sports facility, and hobby center. While we terribly miss hanging out with our other peers, we also come to appreciate the time we spent with our kin.

Thank you 2020 for allowing our planet to breathe, for teaching us how to livestream our teachings, for putting spotlight to what we, the Millenials and the Gen Zs, do best, for helping us see firsthand what we desire in our next set of public officials, for reminding us of our forgotten hobbies, talents, and passions, for centering our focus in self-care and mental health, and for showing us that really, we are just tiny speckle of dust in this ever-changing universe.

For what it’s worth, we want to believe we become better people.

Happy ‘work-versary’!

I was thinking this morning about how I sounded too whiny about work in my last post, when I realized today is also my ‘work anniversary’.

You see, I have this mindset that at work, instead of treating my office mates with a blowout (why do we have to do that? Because we’re Filipinos) during my birthday, I would do so during my work anniversary. It makes me remember the whys and the hows of being in that office, of being a School Counselor, and to celebrate it joyfully with the whos that make my profession more bearable and enjoyable. I may have vented out too many complaints in my last blog post, but I also take this job seriously, and I’m really proud and grateful for choosing this line of work as my profession.

Because I really can’t celebrate today my traditional way of having a good cup of ~~expensive~~ coffee, allow me to re-blog this post I wrote last May when we just celebrated “Counseling Awareness Month”. Hope you enjoy reading!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have always prided myself of becoming a School Guidance Counselor, for despite the bulky work load (I am handling almost 1, 000 students), going on a harder route in possessing a license, having lower salary range, and experiencing less appreciation from the school community, I think of this job as more of a vocation than just an office work. Initially, I took up BS Psychology in college believing that I can work in a clinical setup. But being trained as a Peer Facilitator for four years, I grew in love with the life surrounded by students and helping them be the best they could be. I have long dreamed of being a Guidance Counselor, and at age 23, I finally became one. I think that who I am now is greatly defined by the training I got from talking to so many students, listening to their rants about the world, and looking for the good rather than the bad side of it all. I learned about genuine care, self-actualization, motivation and learning styles, individual differences, and self-care by living and loving the young people and all their idiosyncrasies. On the other hand, I have also seen- and more importantly, learned to embrace- the self-harming and self-destructive tendencies as well as the cynical and anti-social capabilities we all have in our nature in a varying degree.

As a Counselor, I am exposed to both the good and the bad of a person. And what I have always observed in this line of work for six years now, I think that what sets us apart from others is our belief that good will always outweighs anything bad. We believe in our students, that no matter how tragic his past or his present has been, his future will become better, if he chooses to. We trust everyone’s capacity to make wise decisions for their lives, and that we pray for them to have courage and resilience if ever they face difficulties and setbacks on the way to that brighter future. Most importantly, we hold on to hope that any little help we can extend, we hope that we’re making this world a better place than before.

School Counselor Quote Posters by Counselor Designs | TpT

Years in service: 2014- 2019 as Grade School & Junior High School Counselor for a Catholic School in Novaliches; 2019- present as Grade School & Junior High School Counselor for a University with basic education in Diliman, QC.

The Best part of the Job: Being with the young, helping them, talking and getting to know them. This is actually what I believe as a key in keeping youthfulness. Hahah. Another useful advantage is that working in a school is very beneficial for the future education of my own child.

The Hardest part of the Job (and How I deal with it): Making the stubborn parents listen and understand! Hahahahaha. :p I have always been a Counselor for grade school and junior high school departments, and this population is roughly always almost 1000. This is very tedious, considering that I would be the only one preparing, managing, and implementing my programs and services. Also, counseling really has an emotional burden to me (or to any Counselor, per se). I deal with all these struggles with proper time management, effective prioritizing, and getting friendly with the Class Advisers and our school administration. I am only one person, but with the help from the right people, everything can be bearable.

Favorite Productivity Tips: Always work with a happy tummy. Do the hardest tasks in the morning while motivation and energy are still high. Stop when you are already tired. Breathe.

Best Advice I ever Received: “Keep on pushing and keep on learning. Don’t quit because the children and your school need you. Just keep on learning. (Again) Breathe.” -Ma’am Chatt, my college Guidance Counselor in UST

My Advice to those who are just Getting Started: The same as one above. Heheh. But really, never give up. We are who we are because we know how to listen, empathize, and care. And our children need us now more than ever. Whenever things get difficult, just remember who you are doing this for. And yes, never stop learning.

This & That (July 2020)

The past few days are crazily exhausting.

As we prepare for the opening of the school year, the pressure to deliver quality distance learning education tripled up for me. There were a lot of tears shed, but the good news here is that I’m still kickin’ alive and fighting.

My mantra: MAHIRAP, PERO KAYA MO. (It would be difficult, but you can do it)

The COVID-19 pandemic hasn’t gotten any better for the PH 🇵🇭 and by this rate, we’ll surely reach the projected 85k cases by the end of the month (UPDATE: YES! We’ve reached that already). That SONA btw was predictably useless and irrelevant. And the series of rants and unnecessary stress about our country’s politics, incompetence, and indifference to the poor citizens, are totally adding to the emotional burden I’m feeling.

At work, I’m so preoccupied with this Students’ Orientation. I needed to prepare presentations, write scripts, and do voice overs, and then edit the videos so it will be ready for our live-streamed orientation for our school community. All the while, I’m starting to lose precious time in transitioning to provide my Guidance & Counseling services to a digital platform; and establishing a systematic and sustainable procedure in doing my work in a virtual Guidance Office. I needed to prepare a boatload of paper works (i.e. guidelines, guidelines, and more guidelines) that will make my work adhere to what’s best, effective, and ethical. I have been a school counselor for a couple of years now so this shouldn’t surprise me anymore, but this year is a WHOLE LOT different. (Back story: I’m a newcomer to the school I’m employed now, so I’m still adjusting.. and then, BOOM! This pandemic happened and the admin decided to lay off school personnel, including ALL my team mates. I KNOW I should be deeply grateful to still have a job, and I greatly, greatly, greatly, greatly feel thankful.. But working the job that is supposed to be handled by 4 people is no easy feat.. and it hurts to admit that it really is stressing me out.)

But then… my other mantra: You gotta do what you gotta do.

My workload now may be too much and I really, really hate the government, but still, life goes on- I have a daughter to raise and a family to provide for.

And in that note, let’s now talk about some more personal stuff:

To balance the work stress, I’m exercising now more regularly, and this app really helps me. I also stopped playing this game for the mean time, but I’m back to watching tv series in Netflix, and that show is really an oldie but goldie (yeah, I think I can now admit I’m a sucker for old American tv series about crimes and cops stories- whether drama or comedy). I’m also getting more artsy with my planner, and 2 days ago, I had checked out P400-worth of journal stickers and washi tapes from this store in Shopee. Fortunately, I had clicked on ‘Back’ next, rather than ‘Confirm’, so major marital issues averted just like that. You’re welcome, Daddy.

With all the busyness, I had also managed to squeeze in a speaking opportunity, as I gave this parenting webinar about developing literacy at home and managing the New Normal. I’m trying to think it’s not really a big deal, but I’m proud because that’s the first webinar I gave, and our neighborhood’s chickens, birds, and dogs were all energetically cheering for me while recording, so yeah, it should really be a big one. The hubby and I are also attending that online training for Couple Coordinators of Kids for Christ. Plus we are our chapter’s designated “technicals and media team”, so we are really onto computers, zoom meetings, and live-streaming during the weekends.

Being a Mom is still one of the best parts of my life (self: why still?!) and Ella is this constant ‘sunshine on a cloudy day’. We are entering that chatterbox phase, and I’m ALWAYS amused with her stories, dreams, and observations. Btw, she calls herself now “Appleberry Cat”. There were also some meltdowns, and I’m still thankful because these are opportunities to teach and impose discipline on our little lady.

July is really a crazily tiring month, but still a blessing in itself, nonetheless. I think we are all still grieving for our past lifestyles and detoured dreams, but are also starting to cope well with the new ‘normal’. Hey, this album even somehow redeemed 2020 and put smiles on our faces even just for a little while. There is hope, people. There is hope.

Thank you

Woke up this morning to 54 followers for this blog.

This can be a small number for other bloggers, but an achievement in itself for me (I created this page on June 24. For my previous WP blog, I have 122 followers over the course of 7 years, heheh). To be honest, I’m not even blogging for readership and I don’t intend to monetize this platform, but knowing that people can notice, read, and appreciate some of my thoughts is rewarding.

In the midst of negative things happening, we only have to look for our own silver linings. Thank you so much for making me smile today. 😊

Never forget: July 10, 2020.

Natulog ako kagabi na masama ang loob.

Hindi sa asawa ko, pero sa mundo, sa Pilipinas, sa gobyerno.

Sobrang nakakasama talaga ng loob ang mga nangyayari sa Pilipinas ngayon. Sa gitna ng pandaigdigang pandemiya, tila nakatuon sa ibang bagay (read: POLITICAL, SELFISH AGENDA) and mga pinuno ng bansa. Nakakasukang isipin na napakaraming tao ang nawalan ng trabaho, napakaraming estudyante ang mawawalan ng pagkakataon na makapag-aral, napakaraming negosyo ang nalugi at nalulugi, napakaraming empleyado na bagaman hindi natanggal sa pinapasukan pero nagkakayod-kabayo umaga at gabi para trabahuin ang mga gawaing naiwan ng mga nawala at nagkakaroon na rin ng anxiety sa pangambang sila na ang susunod na matatanggal kinabukasan. Hindi pa binabanggit dito ang mga pasyenteng araw-araw nakikipag-laban sa COVID-19, ang mga healthcare workers at frontliners na tunay na mga bayani sa krisis na ito at patuloy na nagsasakripisyo dahil sa araw-araw na pagdoble ng mga taong nahahawaan ng sakit, at ang mga taong tahimik na nagdurusa sa kanilang Mental Health conditions dahil ang di-kasiguraduhan ng panahong ito ang kanilang pinaka-kaaway.

Pero may dalawang bagay na mas nakakasuka d’yan:

Ang kawalan ng konkreto, matatag, at MATALINOng plano ng mga leaders ng bansa dahil maaaring wala silang pakialam, wala silang alam, at wala silang ginagawa para matuto paano maging mas mahusay na pamahalaan; at
Ang mga kababayan nating hindi pa rin mulat sa tunay na kalagayan ng bansa (o baka naman nagbubulagbulagan dahil panatiko na sila ng mga taong nakaupo sa posisyon)- at patuloy na parang tangang sumisigaw ng “huwag kasi kayong umasa sa gobyerno”, “ikaw na lang kaya mag-Presidente”, at “dilawan!”

Hindi na ho ito usapin ng kulay, partido, o paniniwala.

Hindi natin napipili kung saan tayo ipapanganak- kung saang bansa, kung anong klase ng komunidad, kung anong katayuan sa lipunan, kung gaano kahirap o kayaman. Hindi natin ito choice, hindi kasalanan, at hindi rin naman parusa. At totoong nakasalalay sa ating mga kamay at pagsisikap kung paano tayo magtatagumpay.

Pero ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit may pamahalaan ay para tuklasin, pag-aralan, at solusyunan kung paano pagpantayin (kahit baha-bahagya lang, kahit pakonti-konti) ang mga oportunidad para magtagumpay ang lahat- anuman ang kasarian, katayuan sa buhay, o pangkat na pinanggalingan. Ang trabaho nila ay alamin at hanapin ang mga pader na naghihiwalay sa mga nakapag-aral sa hindi, sa mga may trabaho sa wala, sa mga may kapansanan sa mga malulusog, at sa mga nakakariwasa sa buhay sa mga ni walang makain; at tibagin iyon sa pamamagitan ng mga mabubuti at mahuhusay na batas, polisiya, at pamamahala.

Kaya sa tuwing kinakalampag natin ang gobyerno, hindi natin sila inaasahang magbigay ng limpak na pera para mamuhay tayo ng masagana kahit di nagtatrabaho kailanman. Hindi tayo umaasang gagawin nila tayong milyonaryo. Kinakalampag natin sila dahil gusto nating ipaalala ang kanilang sinumpaang tungkulin. Kinakalampag natin sila dahil gusto nating ipaalala ang ating HALAGA bilang tao at mamamayan- dahil karapat-dapat tayong LAHAT sa isang maayos kahit simple lang na pamumuhay.

Natulog ako kagabi na masama ang loob.

Pero pag-gising ko ako pa rin ay isang Pilipino, nasa lower middle-class, may mga responsibilidad, bills at buwis na dapat bayaran, takot at balisa, at wala pa ring lunas o bakuna para sa COVID-19.

Hindi ko mababago ang mga bagay na yan sa isang iglap lang, katulad ng hindi ko mababago ang mga taong naghahari-harian ngayon sa gobyerno (lalo na ang kanilang stupidity, selfishness, and indifference). Sila lang naman ang pwedeng magdesisyon para baguhin ang mga sarili nila. Pero siguro wag na lang natin kalimutan na may mga bagay na kaya naman nating gawin.

UTANG NA LOOB:

Magparehistro tayo at bomoto ng tama sa susunod na eleksyon. (Lord, please sana may election na maganap sa 2022) Sama-sama din tayong magdasal na sana’y magkaroon ng mga mabubuti, mahuhusay, at maka-bansang kandidato. Dahil kung mga trapo at berdugo na naman ay ewan ko na lang talaga.
Magbasa, mag-aral, mag-isip ng kritikal. Tanggapin na natin- Change has indeed come, but not for the better.

Whatever it is you’re not changing, you are choosing.

Hindi na pwedeng neutral sa panahong ito. Sana doon tayo sa may tunay na pagmamahal sa Pilipinas.